Start Some Trouble

First internship.  I thought it went well.  Apparently not as well as I thought as I found out today.  Second one was a disaster.  Only one doctor on staff and our personalities clashed completely.  We knew we didnt like each other but had a very professional relationship...that is after he screamed at me.  I took his knowledge to heart and listened to him when he didnt ignore me.  Now Im on probation at school.

Now let me tell you about my second internship.  It was horrible for me.  However it was a fantastic clinic.  The doctor there was incredible.  It seemed like the staff consisted of a bunch of push overs (no offense to them.)  Very nice but didnt seem to question anything...ever.  Not even when the area was dirty.  They just kind of shrugged.  Oh well.  NO NOT FUCKING OH WELL.  THIS IS A GODDAMN HOSPITAL!  And that is probably why I didnt do so well there.  The first clinic was a Banfield.  Not sure what I did wrong there.  Maybe it was because I was a shy first term student who, in the first few days begged to do things but nobody let me so I gave up.  I feel like I came through in the end but apparently not enough.

So...to the next places.  Fuck being polite.  Dont bitch about me not doing shit if youre not gonna let me do it.  And no...I will NOT just stick your animals with controlled...or any drugs without you knowing or watching (ESPECIALLY if its controlled.)  Im a student...covering my ass NOT a new employee.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

GOD DAMNIT PEOPLE

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I Came Back!

Well well well. I have returned. I didnt think I would come back. I wanted a community type blog so I left to explore Xanga for a while. Let me tell ya...its a mess. I like to think that nobody is listening. After all...this is my blog and I shouldnt feel so....restricted. It wasnt so much the website as it was the damned community. Oh well.

I stopped blogging for a good minute but shit just hit the fan. I have been totally constipated with sorrow and thoughts but then I remembered. I blog because I think about my future and all the cool things I can get when I finally get on my feet. Gives me hope and a chance to just...unwind and imagine.

I wanted to come back to blogging after a cold, tearful night. Husband and I lost our bed to mold so we were sleeping on the floor which is hard wood. He moved to the couch and I continued to sleep on the floor, sprawled out. We have a hole in our roof that never really bothered me till that moment. I was on the floor, cold and lonely listening to the thuds of water hitting the sound of the bucket. Little did I know that shit would only hit the fan more. A couple days later was the start to finals week. I had the worst Wednesday of my entire life. Husband was angry...cant remember why. We were driving to school as it was pouring. One of his wipers stopped working and...well he got pretty snappy. I kept to myself that morning and cried. Fuck my life...seriously. Todays final had two scantrons, one which I forgot my name. It was clear who it belonged to (it was sandwiched between scantron number one and my finals packet) but, school policy caused my 85% to be dropped down to a 66%. As if shit really couldnt get any worse. Lucky me that this only dropped my grade to a 70%...passing but only by the skin of my teeth. At my school, teachers call you during break to let you know if you passed or not. I knew I passed my classes but...something was off. I got my call and it turns out my supervisor at my internship flat out failed me for being unmotivated. What the hell was she talking about? Shit wouldnt have gotten done if I didnt do it. I stayed late twice but you know...was never motivated according to her. What is more fucked up is I never got to work with her...she was off on the days I came in. Instead I worked with an assistant who probably didnt get a say in my grade.  I had to write a bullshit essay about how to improve myself  which stated everything that I was doing anyway...but whatever.  Kissing ass to get what I want.  Needless to say, I fixed it and made it back in.

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