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Kamis, 02 Juni 2016

sleepless holiday nights


I get out of bed and slam the door open. "Its Christmas!" I yell as I run down to the tree. But Im the only one awake and the only one there. A black hole opens up in the ground and swallows me. I land in a pit of darkness all alone. I scream for help but nobody answers. All I have is me...the only person to care and love. Then my dog comes...my best friend in the entire world. She licks my face and stands by my side. Her golden fur protects me from the cold. Then I remembered...she is dead.

That is one of my most unforgettable nightmares. I had it when I was 10...when Spyro was born but not yet mine. My dog, Nalah had been my best friend since I was five. She was a beautiful German Shepherd x Chow Chow and looked very similar to the one in the picture (except more of a gold color). Was she really dead? I dont know. My dad dropped her off in a field in Rio Linda. She came home six months after that but went missing soon after. Do I believe my parents that she just left again? Not quite...especially because I believed I saw her again....but then convinced myself that she wasnt coming home...that she was gone. But thats ok...I had a new friend...a puppy I called my son and still do to this day. My nightmares arent any more or less drastic nowadays...for they always seem to be at their worst during this time of year. But now none of my old pets haunt me in them.

I really really hate Christmas...well not really.

So when I was much younger, Christmas wasnt too bad. Wake up early, get parents up, open presents.

Then my family became very materialistic. They would break out into arguments because one wanted to splurge during the holidays.

Now...I hardly see one and the other just yells at me.

=

So I tend to get depressed around Christmas. What will happen this year? Will there be more arguments?

when can I escape

I have decided that when I become a parent Christmas will probably the mass giving of needed items XD
and purely a family holiday =]

It will probably be a mix between Wiccan Yule and Christmas (or both because Yule traditionally is December 21st)

Either way...the house will smell DAMN GOOD ^_^


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